YOUR TRAUMA WILL NEVER DEFINE YOU
a collection of expressions by the Centre for Equality and Justice
From the fires of trauma
Where no one expected
Your recovery
You have forged
Your own rebirth
Nikita Gill, Your trauma will never define you
Your trauma will never define you, is a collection of expressions by Sri Lankan women who have worked through a process of self-recovery, healing and forgiving.
When you first meet them, their smiles and generosity towards you belie the difficulties they have dealt with – death or disappearance of loved ones, war and insurgencies and varying forms of violence and abuse. Despite these, they smile, they reach out and offer to share with you what they have. A cup of tea. A memory.
One wonders, how do they move on. Or do they, really?
In this collection of expressions, one may find traces of answers. Or one may not. Or one may find even more questions without answers.
This brave process of creating space for voices hitherto unheard was initiated by the Centre for Equality and Justice, Sri Lanka. In a series of workshops co-facilitated by Radhika Hettiarachchi, Tehani Chitty, Vasuki Jeyashankar and Kusal Gunasekara, these women expressed themselves through words, symbols and visuals. Accompanying them, are the words of Sri Lankan poetesses Vivimarie Vanderpoorten and Sumathy Sivamohan as well as others from all over the world. Artworks by veteran artist Kusal Gunesekara on a similar theme are also complementing this collection, curated by Hasini A. Haputhanthri.
…and my love for you
is a bullet lodged
deep in the belly
Vivimarie Vanderpoorten, Love Displaced
ABSENCE OF A SHAPE
and other works by Kusal Gunasekara
Visual Artist, Kusal Gunesekara explores the presence and absence of loved ones in this collection of artworks. Familiar figures suddenly become even more present in their sudden absence. Women embody loss as they embody love.
The series includes acrylic on canvas, acrylic on silk print screens and an installation of the Wishing Tree. Through the variety of mediums the artist explores how women negotiate living with loss on a day to day basis.
Kusal Gunasekara on installation art and social justice
Together with Centre for Equality and Justice, Visual Artist, Kusal Gunesekara facilitated a group of women from different ethnic and religious backgrounds to collaborate and use art to make sense out of their past experiences. In the process, they shared their stories, interacted and empathized with each other and drew both strength and inspiration.
In this video Mr. Kusal Gunasekera, co-facilitator of the workshop explains the conceptualization behind the installations created by women.
…and i refuse
once more
to write of war torn limbs, bodies
scattered far apart, scarred foetuses, and
the white flag, burning in the
whiter sun, held aloft by a fleeing
refugee, in the desert sand;
i can write only
of my own otherness and
the survival of a song, drafting
words of fleeting fancy on the
canvas of my thought.
i refuse to sing any requiem
for me and my own.
Easter 2009
Sumathy Sivamohan
SAREES
of peace, trust and affection facilitated by Vasuki Jeyashankar
These sarees are result of a collective process of reflection facilitated by Vasuki Jeyashankar amongst women affected by decades of war who are now returning to their abandoned homes and rebuilding life from the scratch. Starting life all over again, in war-scorched terrains, these women bring strength and solace to each other through the sharing of experiences. Together they painted sarees with symbols they hope to manifest in their futures:
Saree of Peace includes the symbol of the sun, which shines equally for everyone. Saree of Trust has the emblem of hands, needed to rebuild their homes and hearths and futures. The betel leaf signifies welcome and good luck. Saree of Affection carries the symbol of an ever growing tree, generous with its fruits and shade.
Velayuthan Jayachitra on women and reparation
Centre for Equality and Justice brought together women from Sinhala, Tamil, and Muslim communities for a residential workshop on women and reparations. Together with the support of co-facilitators, the women shared their knowledge and experiences, and created exhibits to showcase their own interpretations on the subject of women and reparations. Jayachitra, co-facilitator of the workshop explains the conceptualization behind the installations created by women.
clutching your future
in a bag to your chest you
look back at your past
Present Continuous
Vivimarie Vanderpoorten
MEMORY BOXES
and other artworks facilitated by Radhika Hettiarachchi
These memory boxes are result of a collective process of reflection facilitated by Radhika Hettiarachchi in Southern Sri Lanka. Though not a war zone, the women were equally affected by the political and economic circumstances. Some of them were military widows. Some of them had loved ones who disappeared during the JVP insurrection in the 1980s. And some of them have struggled against economic hardships through their lives.
The women narrated their stories through sharing objects and photographs and engaged in a process of creative installation work that resulted from dialogue.
Radhika Hettiarachchi on Memory Boxes
Supported by Centre for Equality and Justice, Radhika Hettiarachchi conducted a series of workshops with women across the island. In this video she explains the process behind memory boxes.
Vivimarie Vanderpoorten
Suddenly, in a Public Place
You ask me to promise you
that should war break out
I will leave this country.
But the war is already here
I have lived here all my life
and this is my home.
And if that is a cliché,
try this one:
war is not new to me, it is as familiar as
the sound of firecrackers during Avurudhu
and often my dreams during naps
taken on hot afternoons
are of corpses floating
in rivers
burnt out shells of car bombs
distant voices of long-dead friends
and the smell of fear
I once, laughing, told you
my horoscope predicts
I will die
suddenly
in a public place.
so now you say things like
“I wanna take you away from there
and never let you go back
so you can’t die
suddenly
in a public place”
You think I will die of history,
not karma,
which you don’t believe in.
well I can’t promise you anything,
and you should’ve known better than to
to fall in love with a woman
who’s quite likely to die
suddenly in a public place.
WHY DO MEN TALK ONLY AFTER DRINKING?
Conversations from three self-compassion workshops by Tehani Chitty
In 2018, drama therapist Tehani Chitty conducted three self-compassion workshops in Vavuniya, Batticaloa and Anuradhapura. The workshops allowed women who have been displaced during the war, seeking information regarding lost relatives and experiencing grief that accompanies the post war experience to share their narratives with others in a safe space. The workshop explored the emotional impact of war and trauma on human psyche and facilitated a process of dealing with a painful past and self-recovery through arts and drama therapy.
Tehani observes: ‘When embodying and drawing sadness anger and fear during the emotions exercise the women connected with the wounding experiences they had received through the war. Many of them became emotional and much time was taken in this activity to help them process their grief and trauma. This was done through long discussions as well as through gentle reminders to return to one's breath and mindful awareness of the body. In the discussions that followed the women shared openly the emotions it evoked in them. Some of them shared that they felt such strong anger that at times they feel like hurting the people that hurt them and felt no remorse for these feelings. One participant commented “People caused me suffering. The only thing that can help me overcome this is by giving them love”.
The drawings featured in this exhibit were created by these women, in between their conversation, giving colour and volume to their efforts of claiming their selves again.
Fragments of their conversations, remembered and recorded by the facilitator, are interspersed with these to add an extra layer, while honoring their anonymity:
“If the army just came and said your family is dead, we are sorry for what we have done. Then we can get on with our lives.”
“Women are stronger and more talented than men. Women get up at 6 am and do so much work without expecting pay. Men go to work for 7 hours for money.”
“Not all men are the same. My husband was a good man. He would not let me leave the house without slippers”.
“Why do men talk only after drinking?”
when life begins
so does language,
poetry, and ah, politics,
the final resting place
of love, in war and in peace.
From "Myth and Mother"
Sumathy Sivamohan